Things I Love Edition 1

Procrastination.

Mostly because I am SO DAMN GOOD AT IT. Seriously, you think you are a good procrastinator? Really?! Wanna battle? We could sit in a room with nothing in it but a pen and a book we have to read and see who caves first? It could be super fun?!

But seriously...my life has become a constant procrastination of so many different things that even when I want to accomplish something, I just sit and procrastinate which of the many jobs I should attempt to conquer first. But just in case some of you are not as skilled in this department as I am...I'm going to give you a few of my favorite ways to procrastinate:

1. Online Shopping. Need I say more? It's obviously glorious and perfect for doing in lecture halls when you want to not listen to what the professor is saying. I recommend planing a fake vacation to Bermuda (or other destination of your choice) complete with a destination dream wardrobe.

2. Facebook stalking. Being so good at facebook stalking is both a blessing and a curse. I will just say one thing about this topic: "With great power comes great responsibility..." P.S. Thanks Spiderman's uncle, I wish you didn't die twenty minutes into the movie cause I think you might have had a few more gems to share.

3. Blog stalking- I legit look at all my favorite blogs every single day. During class, during conversations, during work...some of my favorites can be found on the sidebar...or I don't know...you could check this one everyday?! WHAT? Did I say that? Just kidding....No pressure...But really...

4. Hulu.com/sidereel.com - Seriously these two sights are my life. my rock. my shephard. Pretty much all I need is my bed + 30 Rock + Cougar Town + House + 0% Work ethic and my life is complete.

5. Regular stalking- JUST KIDDING! Not quite to this level of creeper yet but who knows...I recently saw a photoshoot of Ryan Gosling and his dog (WHO HAS A MOHAWK! NO JOKE.) and I feel as though I might need to find him and his dog and follow them around for a little bit and try to get him to fall in love with me. I feel as if this is one productive thing I could truly dedicate myself to.

There are so many more tips I could share with you but right now I must use my most effective and satisfying tool for procrastinating...also known as...SLEEP. OH HELL YES. SO GOOD. SO GOOD. HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYY. (this is a song reference. if you understand it high five someone immediately or if there is no one around just find a mirror and high five your reflection. FTW.) More to come as I procrastinate by writing about procrastinating...oh the irony.

Things I Hate Edition 1

Notice the edition 1....there are many more to come. I hate quite a lot of things.

But MOST OF ALL (I mean not really most of all, just the first thing I thought of for this list...)

When people text you and you text them back 2-3 minutes later and they don't respond for half an hour.

Like....listen up person, YOU texted ME. You texted me asking me a question and I responded like 90 seconds later. YOU SHOULD STILL HAVE YOUR PHONE! Did you text me and then fall off a boat, get rescued by Kurt Russel who then convinced you that you were married and had three children (wait sorry that's the plot of the amazing Goldie Hawn star vehicle OVERBOARD, thank you Lifetime Original Movie Channel)? Did you text me and then remember you really needed to watch that new episode of Cougar Town with absolutely no technological interruptions? (this is a valid excuse. Cougar Town is amazing.) Did you text me while peeing and accidently dropped your phone in the toilet (same goes for...did you text me drunk while puking, same scenario?) Seriously now people. If you put in the effort to type a message using those tiny little buttons at least give me the 2 minute grace period to respond before forgetting about me forever.

Rant over.

For now.

Things I Love About Airports

A little foray into actually writing on this blog...we'll see how it goes. I would say something like "comment, guys! tell me what you think!" but I always read that on blogs and then there are no comments and it is just depressing....

As I sit in Terminal A2 of Midway airport (sitting next to a little girl who won't stop staring at me. IF YOU ARE READING THIS CHILD PLEASE STOP.), I can't help but notice some of the glories of airports.

First of all, I just ate a hotdog. So basically life is automatically good.

Secondly, I am observing the following things that make me love this terminal:

1. People getting stuck with children that are not theirs: You know what I'm talking about. Little Timmy befriends the cool guy sitting next to him playing PSP and suddenly the parents are no where to be found until boarding? Right now I am watching a poor couple who had the balls to bring out their small dog and have now become the primary caretakers for at least 3 to 4 small children. Glorious. I can only hope they are looking at each other and reconsidering all of their talks about having children of their own someday. Cause believe me, these ones really look like little monsters.

2. Families and/or teammates that decide to wear matching outfits: Like, really? Is this necessary? I don't think it is but I will say, it is fucking hilarious. Thank you soccer moms of America and the fighting Bulldogs track team, y'all are rockin' those powder blue sweatsuits.

3. Watching CNN with no sound: Oh wait, I hate this. It is horrifyingly boring.

4. Oh my god, the kids have legit unpacked their suitcase in the middle of the terminal and have brought out a camera (sidenote: they also have a ping pong paddle...what?) and are now taking a photo shoot of the dog. YES! YES! Also, 2 more kids have joined the group. Wow. this is truly magical.

5. People who camp out in their respective place in the Southwest line 1-2 hours before boarding will begin: Here's the thing. Southwest tickets are numbered. So getting there hours early will still not change that you are number 33 and numbers 1-32 will be in front of you. I'm sorry, you overachiever you, but you will not be getting on that plane any faster. But hey, props to you for your preparedness and dedication. Really, it's impressive. You are a better person than I.

6. The fact that Southwest just CALLED ME to tell me that my flight is delayed. How cool is that?! ......


......Wait.......


.......MY FLIGHT IS DELAYED?! ......


WHAT THE FUCK SOUTHWEST?

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

I WAS HAVING SUCH A GOOD FUCKING TIME!

SCREW YOU MIDWAY AIRPORT.

YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE.